When Repair Builds Trust: The Power of Owning Our Mistakes

One of the most important things we understand about the brain and relationships is this: growth and learning are made possible through safe and stable interpersonal connections. Students reach their fullest potential when they feel safe, seen, and known.

One of the greatest setbacks in that journey happens when there is a rupture in relationship—especially in moments of failure. But just as powerful as rupture is repair. Owning our mistakes and seeking to repair harm can restore trust and open the door for growth.

At the start of one of our mentor groups, there was a moment when a student needed protection and care—and I failed to step in. The next day, I returned to that student to offer an apology—not on behalf of someone else, but for my own part in the harm. I didn’t demand acceptance or explanation. I simply owned my failure and acknowledged a truth every student deserves to hear: no student should ever have to defend themselves against an adult.

It was a moment that felt unfamiliar for this student, but one that proved to be deeply impactful. I could sense a shift—in their demeanor, in their openness, and in our relationship. That moment of repair helped unlock something new: trust, safety, and the space needed to grow.

These are the small moments that matter most.
Moments where we show up, stay present, and choose connection.
Moments that remind students they are worthy of care—even when things go wrong.

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